How One Family’s Loss Has Touched So Many

It was a bitterly cold February day for my Uncle’s funeral last Friday. Bracing ourselves against the swirling snow and biting wind we left the church and went gratefully to the warmth of my Uncle’s local pub to chat with family members I haven’t seen in 15 years. What do you say to your Aunt and cousins when you haven’t seen or spoken to them for so long? It’s so hard to find the right words of condolence. You say things like ‘He had a good innings’, ‘If you’ve got to go that’s the best way to do it – at least he didn’t suffer’. All token phrases, but true: my uncle would have been 74 this May and he died suddenly of a pulmonary embolism; there was no long drawn out illness or hospitalisation. I’m not meaning to make light of my Uncle’s passing in any way. It would have been nice if he and my Aunt could have had a few more years enjoying their retirement together in the Kent village they had settled happily in, but the fact is we get old and we die – that’s life. We expect it.

We do not expect our children to die before us.

We do not expect to put our baby to bed and never see her alive again.

On the evening of February 2^nd the unexpected and unthinkable happened to our Twitter friend Jennie Edspire. On February 2^nd Jennie was tweeting about her back pain and Red Nose Day. Jennie’s first tweet of Feb 3^rd was:

“Our beautiful daughter Matilda Mae was taken from us last night to join the angels in the sky x RIP Beautiful angel daughter x We love you x”

After this first shocking tweet Jennie has continued to be frank and open with her grieving process on Twitter over the three weeks since 9 month old Matilda inexplicably died in her sleep. Jennie’s blog and her tweets are a heartbreaking read.

“So, where do I begin planning a funeral for a baby? How are you supposed to know where to start?”

As fellow mums we can only imagine what she must be going through on a daily basis – daily life goes on for her elder twins and at the same time as trying to maintain some sort of normality for them she must rise above her grief to organise a funeral for her baby girl.

“Planning fun activities for two children and a funeral for the other x”

Matilda Mae’s death and the way Jennie has shared her grief has touched so many parents. I’ll admit I’m not a person who lives life to the full – I spend far too much time worrying about what might happen and complaining about what has. Jennie’s outpourings are a reminder to myself and us all how precious our children are and how we must cherish them. As each parent learned of the tragedy I’m sure they did what I did and held their children just a little closer for just a little longer. As Jennie urges:

“Please pls hold your children and kiss them all you can. Tell them you love them many times a day. You will never get a single second back”

Here are a few ways in which we can show our support for the Edspire family.

Matilda’s funeral will be on March 7^th and Cara Sayer (@SnoozeShade) is asking us to show the Edspire family we are thinking of them by replacing our Facebook and Twitter avatars with this picture so that Jennie’s timeline will be full of little stars for Matilda Mae.

The Edspire family are also supporting Bliss and any donations are gratefully accepted here.

On Saturday May 11^th the Edspires are organising a Mile in Memory of Matilda Mae walk near their home in Kent. They are asking for a minimum donation of £1 for the cot death charity FSID. The event organisation is still a work in progress, but with a raffle for charity and entertainment and bubble blowing for the little ones it promises to be a beautiful memorial day for Matilda Mae.